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Le Pastie De La Bourgeoisie...
Dear Greggs, I hope this letter finds your business in good health, I'm fairly sure it does really, because it is notable that there are at least four branches on the small main street in town, two of which are next door but one to each other. It seems that you're as ever doing a roaring trade amongst the down on luck former members of the proletariat who frequent your establishments. Rarely do I walk the streets of this fair town without the need for some kind of small craft to navigate the river of Greggs wrappers and their crumb like tributaries that emerge en masse from those too incapacitated, rushed or just plain stupid to eat without secreting half of their meal on the streets. Yes, it all points to one thing, and that is that business is clearly booming.  A Greggs Shop - In some areas of the north, Greggs outlets out number residents by three to one. Now, I may seem to be coming across somewhat negative towards the firm here, and heaven knows, I'd hate to do that, not least because I do from time to time need a snack and your shops are generally handy. The fact that you have approaching a monopoly on snack outlets in the North ensures that everyone uses them once in a while, and I am no exception to that. While I may find the very idea of a Greggs Pastie - or almost any pastie for that matter, truly horrific, (the sensation of dry, flaky pastry and rancid, reconstituted meat by-products has never been one that my tongue has acquired a taste for) I must confess to liking your Ham and Cheese baguettes immensely, their popularity with me buoyed by a budget price and the fact that they are free of that most horrific of condiments, mayo.  The Greggs Pasty - The culinary equivalent of dry skin. And this, dear baker, is where the problem arises, you see, you never make enough of the damned things, it's obviously not an entirely unpredictable situation, because you always run out, while you have plenty of other, less tasty sandwiches. Today I tried not one, not two, but three different shops, and did not find a single Ham and Cheese Baguette left, nor, when I finally asked if they had any left was any offer made to make one. Now, while this was not especially tiring, all three of your stores being within 40 seconds of each other, it was most frustrating to my well thought out lunch plans. As there is a distinct lack of any other sandwiches that meet my requirements, I was left to walk home with a frightful dose of melancholy and a head full of thoughts of what might have been. I'm sure you'll agree that this is a frightful state affairs, and I am hoping that you will endeavour to correct it by using the revolutionary business technique of providing what the customers want. My Regards to you Sir, amillionpieces |
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Bettie / Website (30.1.07 16:50) Nothing like a good pasty for cheering the soul. Greggs, of course, make nothing like a good pasty. Nice flapjacks, though. |
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amillionpieces / Website (30.1.07 17:07) Bettie, indeed, and their lemon muffins are of a certain quality, however on the pasty front, they are surely lamanetable! |
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Anna / Website (30.1.07 18:49) Jonathan once burnt his mouth on a Greggs steak bake, then burnt his thumb, then dropped it on the floor and had to go home 
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menace / Website (30.1.07 19:27) I was a pasty addict when I lived in the UK and used to resort to Greggs now and again when desperate for a fix. But Sayers was always my dealer of choice, not just for pasties but for sausage rolls too. Interesting article on Greggs' domination of the UK highstreet pasty market. |
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menace / Website (30.1.07 19:29) Additional - according to the article, "With 1,327 outlets in the UK and a further six in Belgium, [Greggs] has more shops than fast food giants McDonald's and Burger King, and more shops in the UK than Subway and Starbucks combined." Six in Belgium?? |
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amillionpieces / Website (30.1.07 22:25) Menace, blimey, it's quite scary when you think of it that way, perhaps it's some kind of evil masterplan. What interests me more though is that it doesn't attract the negative hate that the likes of Starbucks does. When starbucks has a lot of stores they get attacked for it, Greggs seems to go unmolested, with the exception of this blog! |
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undercovercookie / Website (31.1.07 09:53) I loathe greggs. they also make the high street hideous. Their shop fronts look more like building societies (another eyesore on the high street) than a food outlet. |
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amillionpieces / Website (31.1.07 11:26) Cookie, truly you art wise! We should unite and petition against them! |
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Arty / Website (2.2.07 01:00) In London, we have to "make do"....with Delice de France, which I must say is a darn sight better than Greggs. |
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Curly / Website (9.2.07 00:26) I wonder where in the U.K. you are? Greggs seem to inhabit every High Street that I know of, however, if you are familiar with Dickson's pork shops, the purveyors of high class saveloy dips, you will know and recognise that they are daily sold out of everything by 2.00 p.m. This is a sad and lamentable state for those who work peculiar hours and don't partake of lunch until mid afternoon. There is nothing more disconsoling than wandering into their premises and finding that all the fixtures and fittings are being washed down ready for the next day's trade while all around them look ready to do business untill at least 5.00 p.m.! |
