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Derrick Low Revisited
Well I was on my home computer the other day and I noticed that there
was this song that I don't remember recording on there. It was
labeled Derrick Low, and I posted something about it ealrier...much
earlier. So I thought it was time to shine a little light on this
situation. Here we go. Enjoy...or not.
You Think I'm Shy? You Should Meet My Penis.
As we all know I am going to go away on my “2 year bike
trip” soon, aka my mission. But before I
can leave there are a few things that I must do. Such things include but are not limited to,
getting my dental work all cleared up and getting my physical health all
cleared up. So I decide to do it all in
one fell swoop. I leave for the doctor’s
and realize that I left my wallet and my papers I needed him to fill out. So I’m like, oh great you stupid moron you
can’t pay the co-pay now and there’s no point in showing up anyways because you
don’t have the forms he needs to fill out.
So I go to the receptionist and am like, “I’m a moron.” And she’s like, “Yeah.” So I go home and get my papers and wallet and
I get in the waiting room, and the nurse is like, “Are you married?” And I says, “No.” And she’s like, “Ok, because 18 is to young
to be married.” I’m cool with that I
guess. So here we are in this waiting
room and she takes care of the nurse responsibilities and I just sit and wait
for the doctor. So he treats me like a
pin cushion, and I go and give blood. Oh
joy. I’ve never given blood this way, it
was exciting. No hose like things
anywhere just a needle and just slap that vial on there. Ok so the blood work is done, and then comes
the hard part…the urine sample. You see
blood they take that, they don’t really stick a needle into your bladder, you
have to be full to burst when you walk into that office you know? Well I couldn’t do it, and they say just
leave one when you come back to let us check the TB thing. So I do that.
I get my TB thing checked, and it’s all good. So I go once again to try for the urine
sample. Ok let me set up the scene
here: It is about 3pm and I have yet to
go to the bathroom all day, when I was leaving and all the way to the doc’s I
had to go like no other. Ok so I go in
and grab the cup…nothing. Not even a
drop. I’m just there, I try many
positions, the stand up, the sit down…nothing.
The nurse keeps yelling through that little window, “I just need a
drop.” Yeah? Well if I could manage a drop I could get a
whole lot more. I realized why I
couldn’t do it either. The walls were
not sound proof, and I could hear everything going on in the Doctor’s
office. It made me nervous and they
might as well put a vice around my urethra, because nothing was coming
out. So I was in the bathroom for almost
an entire hour, and then the nurse asked me to see her outside. So I leave and she asks if I have
trouble…performing. Ack, I thought this
was supposed to happen to you when you got older, I’m to young to answer this
kind of question. I say no, and she says
ok, we’ll just list you as normal. It's not my fault though, I mean there was so much noise I just got nervous, a little toilet shy. So I
leave the doctor’s and go get my passport photo’s and sure enough as soon as I
get home I go to the bathroom, and about 1 minute later, I am done and ready to
take on the day.
"Seems things are in a lockdown
Nervous looks all around
Everyone is speaking in whispers
No one wants to make a sound
I'm losing my touch, yeah"
-Jagger/Richards
Goodbye to Friends
“Help, I need somebody
Help, Not just anybody
Help, You know I need someone
Help..”
Is that what you want to read fellow bloggers? Is that it?
No? you want more? Ok well here you go! Things are happening so fast here. My classes this semester are alright I guess,
but still I think it could be better. As
far as other things are concerned? Well
I did get three new roomies, and I guess they are alright. I do miss the old ones though, and I am
waiting for one of them to stop by and say hello (maybe even spend the
night?!).
”When I was younger, so much younger than
today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any
way.”
papers ready so that he can go on his mission, and this is very crazy. It is making me realize just how little time
I have left before mine. I mean think
about it, I have till July-ish and then I am gone for 2 years, maybe more,
maybe less depending on where I go. I
have to start cracking down on my scripture studying, and get this stuff
down. I also need to get my patriarchal
blessing… Everyone says to get it before
your mission. Oh well we’ll see.
are gone
I’m not so self assured.”
when all of a sudden I saw someone walk in the door and stand right next to me
out of the corner of my eye. Much to my
surprise it was Eug!! My old
Roommate!!! Wow I was so excited. His little sister was tagging along with him,
but it was ok…except for how rude she was to certain people. First thing on the list was to get free
pizza, just like the old days…*sniff.
Well Eug’s cousin came and we kind of sat around and talked for a while,
then me and Eug decided to do a Creamery run for old times sake. So we depart, arrive at the creamery and sit
and stare at the day old bakery goods.
Of course we never buy them, just look.
We made a couple of rounds before we saw his sister and cousin stalking
us. At this point we went back, the
girls were kind of confused that we didn’t actually buy groceries and just
looked around, but it’s something that isn’t easy to comprehend.
”Now I find I’ve changed my mind
I’ve opened up the doors.”
Wade joins our merry troupe and we are off to pick up the pizza. The huge jerkface that runs pizza hut is a
jerkface and doesn’t keep his stuff stocked…gosh! Well anyways we head back to
Home of…me. Well this is where
the real interesting part starts, I mean the not interesting part, whichever
you prefer.
“Help me if you can,
I’m feeling down
and I do appreciate you being ’round”
So Eug says that he wants to go out and visit with all these
people that he won’t see for a while, yeah?
So we go see some people, and his sister is incredibly rude to some of
them. I couldn’t believe it, it was kind
of strange. Then the dreaded time came
when we went to see his ex girlfriend?
That would probably be up there on my list of awkward moments in my
life. My contact fell out and I asked her
for some contact solution, I was going to perform the deadly operation right
there, in the middle of the kitchen…blindfolded. Just as I was about to place it into my eye,
she attacked! Fists flying, but alas I
lost. She had my contact and forcefully
thrust it into my eye after slamming my head against the cabinets. We quickly departed the area and found girls
that were promiscuous and all were happy throughout the land. The End.
”Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me.”
into the night, and it was as if he had never left. None of our new roomies were into hanging
with us, but that was alright. Just to
have us 4 hanging out again like old times (even though in old times we never
hung out together) it was very nice. The
only non nice part was waking up the next morning…ugh I hate Tuesday
mornings. Classes at 9?! What was I thinking? It’s a good thing that I don’t really have to
be awake during it. I was very sad that
I had to leave for class because I wasn’t sure if my roomie would still be
there by the time I got back.
Fortunately for me though we got let out of class early and I did get to
say goodbye to him. I also got to do
splits with him one last time. I can’t
believe that it will be at least 2 and a half years before I even have the
chance to see him again. It’s also too
bad we couldn’t watch “Little Brother” one last time. Little Brother, how do you go on living?
”And now my life has changed in oh, so
many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the
haze.”
mission, and that seems kind of close.
And this is the most redundant post the world has ever seen, but that’s
what you get when you write it over a period of time and are too lazy to scroll
up.
Well Folks, that’s all from here. I will try to be more coherent next time
around. Tschau.
”But every now and then I feel so
insecure,
I know that I just need you like I’ve
never done before.”
-John Lennon
I Was Hoping We Could Share a Laugh or Two
The Following was found at 2:11pm CMT in the country side of
a small town in
individuals that were on some sort of secret mission. The record was unreadable and what lies
herein is all that our team of experts was able to decipher from the bloody and
torn transcripts. All times have been asumed to be AM.
The Log of White Raven and Pass Me
11:42
Subject: Secret Project:
Status: Pending – Drove by Robins house, brother was
returning car. Robin Awake.
11:47
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Pending – White Raven introduced me to the
band dispatch, Crew is uneasy. Talk of
Incubus does not help. En route to
Steve-N’s house.
12:03
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Pending – White Raven came up with the idea
to call Steve-N and ask if his fam was in town.
Lights on in his house, cars all there.
White Raven called Steve-N, found out his brother was home. White Raven parked in handicapped spot. Going to talk to Chris. White Raven scared, does not help crew’s
morale.
12:42
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – White Raven and I successfully
undertook Fort Steve-N. En Route to
Andrew/ Brandon’s houses.
12:50
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – We encountered the enemy and
the enemy is…deer. Through tremendous
heroic efforts by the crew we emerged victorious.
1:00
Subject: SP:PC2
Status: Green light – Drove by
attacked by Ginger. Andrews' dogs were
mean to us. The Crew’s morale is
dwindling.
1:24
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – Passed Robins house, lights
were off.
1:26
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: green light – Passed Billy’s house. Bill wasn’t home. Checking Justina’s house.
1:35
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – Passed Justina’s, Bill’s car
was spotted. Left with the question,
“Why Billy at Justina’s so late?”
1:46
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – Drove past Robins, lights on in
kitchen.
1:56
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – Arrive at Nina’s house. New Target acquired.
2:17
Subject: Sp: PC2
Status: Green light – Nina’s car was easily
taken. Whipped cream and honey tactics
implemented.
2:23
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – Bill has still not come
back. Crew speculates that he is playing
“Baseball” Will come back later. En route to Robins.
2:54
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – We are lost.
2:55
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – We are found.
3:00
Subject SP: PC2
Status: Green light – White Raven is a jerkface. Would not play games with me. White Raven called me a jerkface.
3:03
Subject SP: PC2
Status: Pending – We have encountered rain.
3:22
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light, but soggy – We have just
finished Bill. He is still at
Justina’s. He is either really getting
into baseball or just arguing, no other choices. The car was wet, still paint ran.
3:26
Subject: SP: PC2
Status: Green light – White Raven is afraid of loud
noises.
3:57
Subject: SP: PC2
Status – Green
light, but soggy – We have just finished Robin.
A cop drove right by. Washed up
at gas station. White Raven used mens
room. En route to White Ravens work.
End Transcript.
“Just know you did it all
The best that you knew how
And you can hear them cheerin' now
So let a smile and show your teeth
Cause you know you lived it well”
-Chris
Conley
Worlds Apart
Love is a Verb
During the past couple of months, I have been here…in
life away, but rather have had the best experience of my entire life. I am very grateful for it, and feel as if it
has changed my point of view in life.
There are those that may complain that the text book smarts that the
teacher teaches you is inadequate, but there are other lessons to be
learned. Knowing what the heck the “Plum
Pudding” model for the atom isn’t going to help me in life, but the way some of
my teachers have taught me to analyze the world around me and to find answers
for myself will. They have opened up
entirely new point of views, they have opened my eyes to the world around me,
for what seems the very first time. The
classes I have grown to appreciate the most are Intro to Film, Intro to Book of
Mormon, History of Jazz, and English 115.
I think it should be a requirement to make everyone take Intro to
Film. I just had my final Intro to Film
lab, and I almost cried. I’m going to
miss it a lot. I know I joke about my
class a lot and how eccentric they are, but today I forgot about all of
that. My TA was on a roll today, he just
lectured us for like 10 minutes straight about how necessary it is to analyze the
world around us and find the deeper meaning in things, and I feel like I can
now get more out of life. In my religion
class not only is my professor one of the funniest people I know, but he has
taught me more this year, that I have learned in 18 years about religion. The way I interact with people feels like
it’s going to change, and I feel like I will never be able to talk to people
the same way. That is a good thing by
the way. In History of Jazz I learned
how to take something, and develop my thoughts on it. I used to never be able to distinguish
between Jazz, I had never even heard of all these types. But now I look for the differences, I no
longer see Jazz, I see Swing, I see Bebop, Hard Bop, Cool Jazz, Modal Jazz,
Fusion Jazz, and I can now pick out players.
I can think to myself, “Oh that’s Louis Armstrong,” or “Yeah that guy
was influenced by Lester Young.” I feel
as if I don’t just see the world as it is anymore, I try now to look at the
differences in everything, try to find uniqueness in everyone I meet, see why
some people are the way they are, because of their experience, the context of
their lives. My rhetoric has gotten a
workout with English 115, and now when I read I can see all these meanings that
I was never able to before. I can see
through peoples arguments now, through the way they talk and how they try to
persuade their argument. Overall even
though I am so far away from the people I love most, I feel like it is the best
thing for me to be going through at the moment.
For everyone back home that reads this I am looking forward to going
home. Only 14 more days, just 14
more. Even though I try to keep in
contact and keep up with everyone, I am curious to see if anyone has
changed. Not just physical means, but if
the way I interact with them will still be the same.
You know something, it’s always different when you look at others in your same
situation. It makes so much more sense,
and looks so much easier.
”Some might say that we should never
ponder
On our thoughts today because they will sway
over time.”
-Noel
Gallagher
The Barber
The Barber.
The Barber…
The Barber, we all know is that man (or woman) who cuts our
hair. I think I want to become one, I’m
sure it’s not that bad of a job really.
I mean you get to meet all kinds of new people, and cut their hair just
the way they don’t want it while you’re at it.
I can remember when I was a younger child that my Padre would always
take me to get my haircut at a friend of his.
The Barber’s name was “G” and he would always cut my hair. Cut your hair like G did?! Well anyways I can remember these memories so
vividly, as he would always talk to me while giving me my haircut. One of his favorite subjects to talk to me
about was video games. To be more specific
this is what he would say to me.
”So Sean, you playing any video games?
How about that Mario?”
Yes, these were good times.
When the only thing in the world I had to worry about was Mario…good
times. And oh how I miss them. Now I have to worry about papers left and
right, coming to steal my soul. Evil
papers that require a different format each, They’re in my hair!. Argh!
I’m a pirate! I’m thinking I
don’t really want to come back for Christmas, and by that I mean I do…I meant
to say I don’t want to come back to BYU for winter semester. Although I think next semester won’t have as
many papers due in it…hopefully. I only
have one class next week, which excites me, and after next week only 3 weeks of
school left! YAY! And then Finals!..yay.
We just finished reading a book called Fast Food Nation in my English class, and I must say the world
could be a much better place. I don’t
want to sound like one of these retarded “American Eagle produced angry at the
world, and the previous generation for what they’ve done to it, awesomely cool
people because they were vintage T’s that say stuff like “Surf Contest! Pipeline 1975!”, but I think there’s room for
improvement.
You know what’s even worse than procrastinating? Thinking
you’re procrastinating. I mean I was up
till 4 in the morning typing up my research paper because I though it was due
later that day, but to my disbelief I found out it was due the Tuesday after
thanksgiving.
This just in, in order to appease all people, and provide a
true culture blend, Microsoft has now added Ebonics to its word program. Yeah, yeah I know I have bad grammar, but
just ignore that for this part.
“Asked Myself what
it’s all for
You know the funny thing about it
I couldn’t answer
No I couldn’t answer.”
-Time Jensen