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Three things
...today. All are related, in some way or another, to the new object of my affection. I don't know what to call her on this blog yet (I might leave this one to Gamba); so for the course of this entry I'm gonna call her Nooma. So, in chronological order :
1. I had my palm read a few months ago by a friend. I don't really believe in this kind of thing, but it was a good reading, so I'd like it to be true. She told me that I was going to have three children, with two different mothers. This made me very excited, as this means that - if true - I will have sex at least three more times in my life. With two different people (if I used exclamation marks, then I'd use them here). Joy. I told Nooma this on Thursday. She pointed out that having three children didn't necessitate sex, as I might become a donor. On the strength of this argument, I have resolved to never make a trip to the bindu-bank in order to 'hand' over my man-grout.
2. Nooma was very drunk last night. In the course of showing me a wrestling move, she grabbed my ass. Afterwards, I pointed out that she had done this. To even things out, she told me that I could grab her ass, and she spun round 180 degrees. I looked at said ass, and almost fell of my chair. It is the perfect posterior. Tempted, I was. But I am a gentleman (read 'idiot'), so I politely declined.
3. Nooma is driving a float through a carnival today, which will be manned by people dressed as rabbits and cows. She invited me along, claiming that it would be "hilarity at its zenith". I couldn't go - I had to work. I really wish I'd been there. Boo.
That's it.
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To date 17 Comment(s)
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(3.7.04 19:10)
'man grout'
bleeeugh!
They'd never use that on Changing rooms.
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(3.7.04 19:25)
'Nooma' makes me think that she should be in the Lion King.
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(3.7.04 22:35)
Update
Barnyard Oddity Girl (I realised that calling her 'Nooma' was stupid) sent me an email to tell me that I "missed a motherfucking treat". I love women that swear gratuitously.
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(3.7.04 22:52)
So Nooma is stupid but Barnyard Oddity Girl is perfectly sensible??
You do realise her initials will now be BOG. Sort it out.
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(4.7.04 01:05)
Because I have too much time to think about these things, I actually did realise that. It was kind of a joke.
The last object of my affection (or 'Looma', if you prefer) was known here as Cute Li'l Art Girl. Gamba was responsible for this epithet. Either she didn't consider what the acronym would be, or she is an evil genius.
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(4.7.04 01:24)
I am a mathematical genius.
If you have one child with one mother and twins with the other, you can look forward to only having sex two more times in your life.
I think you were just looking for extra carnal pleasure.
You should perhaps study math as much as you studied Nooma's tush.
.
Nooma wants you. Bad. (Which is actually good from your point of view.)
edit for spelling
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(4.7.04 13:21)
Yes, and I like Nooma - she sounds good, and it's a beautiful name.
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(4.7.04 20:24)
Well, two times is better then none. My knowledge of maths extends thus far :
Nooma's tush + Lemonsquash's eyes = Happy x 100.
Nooma is brill. She's the coolest person I've met in ages. Shame she's going out with someone undeserving. My fab flatmate told her as much on Friday night. Unfortunately, Nooma was too drunk to remember, so those seeds might not germinate. Time for Plan B. Whatever that is.
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(4.7.04 21:59)
Seeds that are planted on you when you're retrospectively unaware are always far more likely to germinate. It's because you don't realise they're there, germinating away, so you can't intefere with their progress. This means she will be yours.
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(5.7.04 00:19)
I am loving Looper more and more by the minute x
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(5.7.04 01:20)
Noooooooooooooo you can't love Looper, I have already declared my love for her, she's mine! All mine!
What will it be sir, duelling pistols or swords?
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(5.7.04 01:39)
I am a Little Tart; and therefore I can love whomsoever I please. Provided - of course - that she lets me.
I think we should duel to the death in a pool-ette of warm chick-peas, armed with space-hoppers. Are you game ?
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(5.7.04 03:02)
How is it Nooma is attached? Married? Engaged? Please advise. Very confused. Please don't mention chickpeas in the answer. Gurg.
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(5.7.04 11:06)
I'm happy to have Looper on Tuesdays, Thursdays and alternate weekends. Although I was quite looking forward to the duel; I'm sure that we can find something else to fight over.
Nooma has been seeing a fellow for a couple of months. So it's difficult to tell how serious it is. My flatmate (who used to go out with said fella) is convinced that Nooma will realise at some point that her man is fucked in the head, and will ditch his sorry ass; and that basically patience is required. I'm not so sure. I have observed that nice gals often stay with penii for longer than one might expect. So who knows ?
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(5.7.04 14:29)
Nobody can stop you loving whoever you please, lemony ...... The problem is always on whether they love you back.
Innit?
You lovely boy.
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