Perpetual Melody

Resolutions?

The whole world seems to be talking about them! I, for one, have hardly ever made any resolution for the simple reason that I've always found it too difficult to adhere to any. I cannot follow rules, even if they were my own I don't believe in forcing myself to do anything. If at all I have to *improve*, I will, eventually

But then, I also gave a thought to the year gone by, and how it did or didn't go as per my expectations. Firstly, it passed too quickly! Too fast to comprehend it's pace. As people started making plans for the new year's eve the last year's celebrations zoomed by me. Gosh! And 2005 went by me in fast-forward. Wish I could savour it a bit longer. Too mnay things that happened. The last year presented me some of my best moments, and also some of the worst ones! I won't say I committed any mistakes, because finally all our decisions are the best decisions, taken with utmost thought at that particular time. And I generally tend to think hard before jumping head-on into anything, for prevention is better than cure So *regret* is out of question. And I am generous enough to forgive myself for all my mistakes! And others too!

Hhmmmm... but many have asked me about the things that i would like to change about myself. Well, nothing actually. Just that I could do with a little more patience, and a little more understanding of my own self. I confuse myself many a times which leads to fickle-mindedness. Yes, even the stubborn ones can suffer fickle-mindedness Wish I could be less gullible to external factors. But everybody goes through similar feelings I guess. So no big deal, and no resolutions either! Yay!

Apart from that I hope that this new year finds me good career prospects, and also good educational opportunities. I could do with some pleasant happenings in my personal life, and may God bless me, and give me the courage to face difficult times. May everybody find loads of peace and happiness (I'm being selfish here actually... I hate sulking faces )

A very happy new year to all you lovely people out there a bit late to wish, but what the heck, its never too late to wish well

And finally, I end with the Serenity Prayer:

Oh Lord,
Give me the strength to change what I can.
The serenity to accept what I can't change.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

4.1.06 17:46

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At a crossroad

All my prayers translated into a path that led me to you
		I instantly recognized your voice, and let my dreams shine through the trees and ride the waves and loved what was growing within me. My dreams decorated my walk and I embarked upon a journey... on a path sealed with a kiss and a bounty of love that would eventually lead me to you.
How our differences seamlessly overlapped into comfort!
		Yet, I couldn't bring myself to you completely. I was stuck at a crossroad. And the only way our love could blossom was where mind body soul converged.
My heart sang and longed! Yet I saw its voice strike against opaque walls, the familiarity of ache flooded me, and I knew why it wasn't meant to be
	You offered me love - unconditional, yet demanding, even condescending. The contrast grew and I was pushed, into ignorance, disbelief, mistrust. I couldn't keep you, yet hoped you'd stay.
I called upon the sea, the sky, the earth... to bail me out, yet they wouldn't heed. And I was suffocated - with pain and turmoil. And I decided to leave.
		So much within was breaking, even as I tried to move away. Yet you only saw the mask. I tossed between left and right, and took a path away from you. Helpless, choiceless, I kept moving my gaze away. Yet we kept colliding, hurting each other.
My heart bled and I carried the scars to meet you again and again, to love you again and again, to fight you again, to fight me again, to be fragile again, to break again! ...and the story plays in endless loops...
	The status quo kills me And I'm breaking day by day I know how it would end Don't give me a choice Just Go Away Take away all the guilt Take away all the pain Release me from your spell Stop loving me Put an end to the guilt Put an end to the pain

12.1.06 05:55

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How different are we?

Rising above oneself requires a lot of courage. I tried doing that and I realized how difficult it is to isolate the 'I' from me. I realized how difficult it is to put myself in somebody else's shoes and empathize with their pain and life-drama.

I wanted to know for myself what makes people the way they are. What makes them laugh cry smile. And I concluded that the reasons weren't any different from mine. Everybody goes through a myriad of emotions and phases in life. And suddenly, I realized I was so much like anybody else. My carapace of self-importance dropped off, and all those whom I had refused even a glance earlier now were suddenly within my sphere of consideration. A small girl, going for a walk with an elderly man (I suppose her grandfather or some such)... what a lovely sight it made! A young couple huddled in a corner of a busy road, old ladies busy gossiping, a bunch of small children performing somersaults at the street, even a beggar on the roadside... all of them are just as human as me!

Everybody has to journey through huge piles of rubble everyday. I cannot speak for all, but I’ve seen His essence in all. I'm as different and as similar as anybody else is.

Chalk in hand, thought I would mark
The circumference of my life,
And tidy up my own little space.

Laughing, giggling I ran till
I could no longer demarcate
Where my life ended and others’ started
How seamlessly they merged into one.

The perimeter of love that binds us all
Was many sizes larger than I thought.

© Archana D

31.1.06 08:20

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